Who’s tellin Shane?

  In its continuing assault on American health, Burger King will next month debut the NY Pizza Burger at the “restaurant’s” New York City flagship Whopper Bar restaurant. The NY Pizza Burger is four times the size of the Whopper, is served on a nine-and-a-half inch buns and is just over twenty-five hundred calories (which by the way is just about the total daily calorie allowance for an average person).  The “burger” is made with 4 Whopper patties, pepperoni, mozzarella cheese, marinara sauce and pesto. 

Here are ten reasons not to.

  1. There are a hundred an forty-four grams of fat in the NY Pizza Burger… Not too bad right?
  2. There are fifty-nine grams of saturated fat in the NY Pizza Burger. Ehh.
  3. There are 3,780 milligrams of salt in the NY Pizza Burger. Not good.
  4. You have better ways to spend thirteen dollars. Shakira’s new album “Sale el Sol,” comes out in 3 weeks!
  5. You on the fence about wanting to be a part of the culinary suicide that Americans are committing.
  6. You are already fat.
  7. You have already started cleaning the vomit off your keyboard  just thinking about this culinary travesty.
  8. You value your health, well sort of.
  9. How the fuck are you going to eat that and hold onto your dignity, at least what’s left.
  10. You are already fat.
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